Script Surgery - Project Development

Script Surgery

After we handed in our draft copies of our first ever screenplays we received great feedback from the amazing script writer himself Steve Coombes. I was pretty confident with the beginning and the middle of my script but not so much the ending, i really needed Steve's help.  When i had my Script surgery with Steve he truly changed my entire script into something magnificent. My original script played with the characters too much in a way where it turned out to make no sense. I had two characters who were sisters and eventually met at their mothers grave. That story didn't have a great impact on the audience so me and Steve thought of this;

Beginning

Open with a visual of the mothers grave that has not been looked after. A small grave that has not had a lot of money invested in it nor any time and efforts. Chelsea (the unfortunate sister) laying flowers on her mothers grave on the day of her death anniversary with her father. 

Middle

Nancy (Chelsea's sister, who is wealthy) looks to buy a new grave for her mother making sure that she gets the most beautiful and expensive grave in the cemetery. Chelsea who does not want Nancy to touch her mothers grave gets very emotional. Chelsea gets very upset over Nancy trying to buy her family. Nancy offers her father a nice holiday to get away from the stress and ignores Chelsea. Family fued awaits them. Nancy is constantly hostile to Chelsea due to her wanting to have her father to herself. Nancy replaces the grave and the fued with continues.

End

Chelsea's and Nancy's father really feels unpleasant with both of the daughters always being so hostile that he refuses to keep in contact with them. Over a few months Chelsea and Nancy resolve their issues by Nancy putting back the grave that Chelsea had originally organised for their mother. They both realise that family is most important. Since Chelsea and Nancy both have lost their parents within these years they realise that they only have one another left and have to stick by each other.

Steve told me to really go in depth with the visual representations in the script as that will make the audience want to carry on reading. I also had a 3 year later story page added to my ending in my original script although Steve said that it is unnecessary as nothing was resolved in my original script, as to now where we have a Beginning, a middle with a conflict and an ending with a resolution.